I am lying in bed wondering when the next feed will be. It is usually around this time so it feels almost pointless to go to sleep before he wakes. It's in these moments I dare to let my thoughts loose. The ones I have been too busy all day with my baby to listen to. It's in these moments I hold back the tears and try to push the welling grief down. I am led right next to my husband, he is sleeping, and although I could just put my hand out and touch him - he feels further away than ever. I am lying here knowing I am lonelier than ever. My baby is asleep in the adjoining room, he has a cold and I can hear his nose whistling as he sleeps soundly. In that room is my whole heart, my reason for going on, my reason for living. I have never had many friends, I came from a military family so we moved so many times friendships were fleeting and even in my adult life I have also remained nomadic! Maybe it's a learnt behaviour, not holding onto friendships be...
Welcome to the modern world. A world where being a woman is no longer a disadvantage. Where we are all equal and all treated the same. Well that is the world I thought I was entering when I left university feeling empowered, feeling excited for my future and full to bursting with feminism. Nothing would hold me back, I could do and be whatever I wanted. Naivety is a beautiful thing. It allows us to see the world in the way it should be without the harshness of reality. The feminist in me that was cultivated by a strong mother and a father who taught me that I could dream big as long as I worked hard still is in there even though my recent experience has shown me that injustice and prejudice still exists. My Dad was right of course I can dream big, and I can and have proven my worth ten times over. I have had a senior management position in a global company, I have not one but two degrees and I have a string of qualifications to my name. ...