Bringing Up Baby

It has come far too quickly! Everybody told me it would fly by and it has done.  I cannot believe that I am fst neqring the end of my maternity leave and as the SMP runs out I have to go bck to work!  Yes I would rather stay at home with my baby boy, but sadly for me that is just not a viable option. I could weep and break my heart over this but instead I am trying to focus on the positive that I only have to go back part time.  What this has led to is the trauma of deciding which nursery to send my most prized treasure too!  Something I was not anticipating to be quite as difficult as it was. For me geographical poximty was kind of irrelevant as I live in a rural village in a rural area so the local town is really the only option; any nursery would require a car journey so this factored quite low on the priority list. Which opened up about 6 possibilities. People told me I would have a gut feeling abour a nursery and it didn't matter what anyone else told you, you ...

I have bipolar, I have suffered with it since I was a teenager.  Like many I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my twenties.  By the time I was diagnosed my life had effectively stopped.  I couldn't leave the house, I was frightened of everyone and everything.  It started out with a bit of paranoia, that the person across the street was looking at me, that everyone was judging me, that people were talking about me.  It grew and grew into something that was out of control.  I started to think people were bugging my house; listening to me, recording my conversations, that there were people following me, watching my every move, they wanted to hurt me.  Looking at it now with the knowledge about mental health that I know have I can see that my anxiety was causing my mind to have these glitches, moments of irrational fear,  But at the time it was so overpowering and I was so alone that it just kept growing until I could hear and see things other people co...

Shopping with a baby is not as easy as it used to be before your little one arrived. In fact it can be an expedition! As a new mum I found that some shops are just not that pram friendly!  You will probably only find this out as you catch your wheels on a rack or shelving display as your sleek new pram starts to feel like a hummer trying to drive down the backstreet alleys!  A similar fate may also await you if you fail to choose a pram friendly cafe.  Numerous times I have found a quiet discreet table in a cafe where I can have a relaxed feed for Charlie while I sip a coffee; only to have failed to consider whether I could get out again if more customers arrived.  So the relaxed half hour is instantly cancelled out as I have to start shuffling chairs, tables and fellow customers to get me, baby and pram out. I also have found in some department stores finding the lift is not always easy. Me and Charlie have walked around and around following signs that seem ...

Today I am still reeling from the terrible events in Manchester. I held my little baby boy last night and cried at the thought of the world I have brought him into, such pain and suffering. The fear that grips my heart though is not that these evil monsters exist in this world and they could take me or my loved ones in such a cruel and callous way. Not these horrible cruel people who I cannot protect my son from but is a fear that they will win. I scrolled through my newsfeed and saw hatred spewing from people I call friends. Shocking sweeping statements. I see racist slogans and far right groups capitalising on our fear. I see a whole religion being tarred with the same brush as this evil scum without a second thought. I look at my son and he knows no prejudice, he knows no difference between race or skin colour, he knows no difference between a Muslim, Christian or Jew. He has no sense of superiority or hatred. He was born, like we all were, as an equal to all others and wit...