Bringing Up Baby

Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a pregnancy related condition that causes severe nausea and vomiting; it can be so severe the sufferer may feel faint, become dehydrated and have significant weight loss.  Not only is it physically debilitating it can be mentally challenging too. Not only do you have the horrific sickness to contend with day in day out for weeks, you also may become isolated, house-bound and feel quite lonely.  Take into account the fact the joyous occasion of becoming pregnant being somewhat overshadowed by this awful comdition and it is no suprise depression is also very common in sufferers. If you are suffering with HG this post is for you: I just want to tell you to hold on and that you can do this. I know that sickness can start so early in your pregnancy. It came to me early too and I know that feeling. I know those fears. The fear your baby is at risk because you can't eat or drink properly. The desperation to hide your pregnancy but you are struggling because...

I have bipolar, I have suffered with it since I was a teenager.  Like many I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my twenties.  By the time I was diagnosed my life had effectively stopped.  I couldn't leave the house, I was frightened of everyone and everything.  It started out with a bit of paranoia, that the person across the street was looking at me, that everyone was judging me, that people were talking about me.  It grew and grew into something that was out of control.  I started to think people were bugging my house; listening to me, recording my conversations, that there were people following me, watching my every move, they wanted to hurt me.  Looking at it now with the knowledge about mental health that I know have I can see that my anxiety was causing my mind to have these glitches, moments of irrational fear,  But at the time it was so overpowering and I was so alone that it just kept growing until I could hear and see things other people co...

As I sit here writing this blog, I have my baby monitor next to me.  On the screen is a little baby boy on the edge of sleep.  He is what you would call drowsy but awake.  Yes! Drowsy but awake - the state those sleep gurus tell you is important in teaching your little one to self soothe and sleep on their own.  And the fact that I am sat downstairs watching him drift off is one of my greatest achievements as a mum to date.  In fact today has gifted me with this great achievement twice as I also had a drowsy but awake baby in the pram this morning.  By the time I had got half way around the block with the dog, my drowsy baby had fallen to sleep. Hurrah! But as I sit here sharing my moment of glory there is actually a growing unease in me; because although this is an achievement it is tainted by one small fact.  You see, I have a confession to make:  I can only get my baby to sleep in a swaddle.  He is 5 months old on Saturday and yet he w...

This blog is not an easy one to write because it bears a part of my personality that sometimes others can't accept or understand.  I have bipolar disorde r and have had that diagnosis for several years and although I am good with that when I made the decision to have a baby it caused me such inner turmoil.  On the one hand I felt my husband and I had so much love to give a child and that we were ready to start a family and my natural mother instinct was making me broodier by the day!  On the other hand I was crippled with fear; what if I couldn't cope with a baby? What if I got ill and they take my baby away from me? What if my child grew up resenting me for the illness that sometimes darkened my world? What if my child had bipolar too? Could I forgive myself if they felt the depths of depression like me? The truth was nobody could answer these questions and so I had to do some soul searching and I decided rightly or wrongly that to live a life of what if's was ...