Skip to main content

Featured Post

A mothers Loneliness

I am lying in bed wondering when the next feed will be.  It is usually around this time so it feels almost pointless to go to sleep before he wakes.  It's in these moments I dare to let my thoughts loose.  The ones I have been too busy all day with my baby to listen to.  It's in these moments I hold back the tears and try to push the welling grief down.  I am led right next to my husband, he is sleeping, and although I could just put my hand out and touch him - he feels further away than ever.I am lying here knowing I am lonelier than ever. My baby is asleep in the adjoining room, he has a cold and I can hear his nose whistling as he sleeps soundly.  In that room is my whole heart, my reason for going on, my reason for living.I have never had many friends, I came from a military family so we moved so many times friendships were fleeting and even in my adult life I have also remained nomadic! Maybe it's a learnt behaviour, not holding onto friendships because I always leave…

The adventures of shopping with a baby!

Shopping with a baby is not as easy as it used to be before your little one arrived. In fact it can be an expedition!

As a new mum I found that some shops are just not that pram friendly!  You will probably only find this out as you catch your wheels on a rack or shelving display as your sleek new pram starts to feel like a hummer trying to drive down the backstreet alleys!  A similar fate may also await you if you fail to choose a pram friendly cafe.  Numerous times I have found a quiet discreet table in a cafe where I can have a relaxed feed for Charlie while I sip a coffee; only to have failed to consider whether I could get out again if more customers arrived.  So the relaxed half hour is instantly cancelled out as I have to start shuffling chairs, tables and fellow customers to get me, baby and pram out.

I also have found in some department stores finding the lift is not always easy. Me and Charlie have walked around and around following signs that seem to point in a general direction only to lead me to nowhere! And then when you find the lift and push the pram containing your sleeping baby in, press the button and suddenly the voice bellows 'DOORS CLOSING'. Charlie's reaction to this is always the same his eyes shoot open as wide as possible, his lip quivers and then he lets out a wail! Great he is awake and not happy! Que the disapproving glares as I desperately try to calm and soothe him back to sleep! 

So you jave navigated the narrow aisles and, got to the lift, and now you decide to get a new outfit for that social thing you have been debating about going to! I mean socialising as a new mum is a real treat! You finally find one you want to try on! It's the only thing you have found that is suitable for breastfeeding with it's crossover front or buttons but you don't know if its going to fit.  Your body is back to a 12 but your boobs are so huge!  Frankly they are likely to free themselves from most garments - so you need to try it on! But the baby! So you go off to find the disabled changing room which frankly there are not enough of! If the baby has gone back to sleep you can almost guarantee that as you realise you are stuck with your arms above your head because the material has not got the stretch to go over the bust then baby is going to wake.  So by the time you have finished; you are hot, bothered and ready to give up clothes shopping altogether. In fact you may give it up until baby starts school and maybe by then you will have your pre-pregnancy body back! But thankfully your retail therapy can be fulfilled so instead of shopping for yourself your little one is treated to yet more clothes! How can you resist? They are just so cute! 

So you are going to head home but before you do it is time to change baby! So you set off for the changing facilities and realise your bladder is also starting to feel full! But you arrive and the lovely mall have put a dedicated changing room in.  Perfect! So thoughtful and also daddy friendly but how do you now pee?!   So instead you either take baby in to a toilet cubicle with you and sit him on your knee while you abandon the pram outside or your just going to have to hold it! Why is it that when you need a wee there is no disabled toilet/changing combo! 

So you get to your car and you smile to yourself because the reason you love shopping with baby becomes apparent.  Parent and Child parking! Genius! So you open the door as wide as it goes, load in baby! Dissemble the pram, which is now so well practiced it makes you feel like a pro and you head home!

Thank goodness for ASOS hey!


Popular posts from this blog

Motherhood and Depression: The fight of my Life

Today I woke up and for a moment I lay still staring at the ceiling and forced myself to listen to my breath.  I lay there and felt my chest rise and fall as I breathed.  It took all my will power to keep my focus on my breath, a mindfulness technique I have been taught.  I did this for maybe 30 seconds maybe a minute as my husband got up to the baby.  I was lying there trying to keep my focus off the one thing that has dominated my thoughts recently.  The dark, dismal feelings that have clawed their way into my life that bring with them the thoughts that I just can’t go on anymore.  These thoughts bring with them tears and heartbreak and they make living a normal life more and more difficult.

My bipolar disorder has made me prone to depression.  It is a life long battle, but as my husband carries my beautiful son into our room that battle has to be put on hold; a momentary truce.  He is my world, the reason my heart beats and despite my turmoil he is not going to see me cry.  I take …

The trials and tribulations of choosing a nursery

It has come far too quickly! Everybody told me it would fly by and it has done.  I cannot believe that I am fst neqring the end of my maternity leave and as the SMP runs out I have to go bck to work!  Yes I would rather stay at home with my baby boy, but sadly for me that is just not a viable option. I could weep and break my heart over this but instead I am trying to focus on the positive that I only have to go back part time.  What this has led to is the trauma of deciding which nursery to send my most prized treasure too!  Something I was not anticipating to be quite as difficult as it was. For me geographical poximty was kind of irrelevant as I live in a rural village in a rural area so the local town is really the only option; any nursery would require a car journey so this factored quite low on the priority list. Which opened up about 6 possibilities. People told me I would have a gut feeling abour a nursery and it didn't matter what anyone else told you, you would know whi…

Time to take back control: A Mum's battle with the Post Baby Body

I have not been happy with my post baby body for some time now.  It just has never felt like the right time to take on the battle of getting back into shape! There is always something that seems to take priority and one thing I have come to realise is that taking time for myself to work out or to go for a run has seemed selfish and unimportant since becoming a mother! 
But as I stood in front of the mirror the other day in my underwear and I let my critical eye survey the damage of these last few months of neglect, My heart sank and the tears flowed!  I am baring all, to say to all you lovely mums out there who are feeling a little overwhelmed with your post baby bodies - you are not alone! So here it is, wobbly tummy and love handles galore!
This is me! I am not ashamed of what I have become because every curve and wobble tells a story of my journey in motherhood, it tells a tale of me putting my baby first, making poor food choices out of weariness from loving a poorly baby, or b…