Skip to main content

Featured Post

A mothers Loneliness

I am lying in bed wondering when the next feed will be.  It is usually around this time so it feels almost pointless to go to sleep before he wakes.  It's in these moments I dare to let my thoughts loose.  The ones I have been too busy all day with my baby to listen to.  It's in these moments I hold back the tears and try to push the welling grief down.  I am led right next to my husband, he is sleeping, and although I could just put my hand out and touch him - he feels further away than ever.I am lying here knowing I am lonelier than ever. My baby is asleep in the adjoining room, he has a cold and I can hear his nose whistling as he sleeps soundly.  In that room is my whole heart, my reason for going on, my reason for living.I have never had many friends, I came from a military family so we moved so many times friendships were fleeting and even in my adult life I have also remained nomadic! Maybe it's a learnt behaviour, not holding onto friendships because I always leave…
12 comments

About Me

I am a first time mum who originally started writing this blog to give me sanity and to keep that grey matter busy.  Having seen the vast array of information available online I needed to make some sense of my own journey and decided to document my own muddling through of parenthood and hopefully help others along the way.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A mothers Loneliness

I am lying in bed wondering when the next feed will be.  It is usually around this time so it feels almost pointless to go to sleep before he wakes.  It's in these moments I dare to let my thoughts loose.  The ones I have been too busy all day with my baby to listen to.  It's in these moments I hold back the tears and try to push the welling grief down.  I am led right next to my husband, he is sleeping, and although I could just put my hand out and touch him - he feels further away than ever.I am lying here knowing I am lonelier than ever. My baby is asleep in the adjoining room, he has a cold and I can hear his nose whistling as he sleeps soundly.  In that room is my whole heart, my reason for going on, my reason for living.I have never had many friends, I came from a military family so we moved so many times friendships were fleeting and even in my adult life I have also remained nomadic! Maybe it's a learnt behaviour, not holding onto friendships because I always leave…
12 comments
Read more

My birth experience left me frightened and alone. Could postnatal care be better?

My birth experience was not what I had wanted it to be. As a first time mum I had hoped for the natural birth I had imagined while writing a birth plan. Alas it was not to be!  I was under a consultant for the entire pregnancy and through regular monitoring it had been picked up that I had low amniotic fluid. In the end it dropped again and it was decided I should be induced at 37 weeks. I was terrified - I had two sweeps the week before and I walked miles and miles in the hope to get things going naturally but my little one was not done cooking and so made no moves at all!

The induction started early on a drizzly Monday morning in January. And within 2 hours I started having contractions which quickly settled into a steady pattern of every 2 minutes.  I went on like that from 11am through the day until early evening and I wasn't sure what was happening if baby was on his way or not! All I knew was it hurt like hell and was getting stronger and stronger. I barely saw the midwife …
Post a Comment
Read more

My painful journey to breastfeeding bliss

You will no doubt have an idea of what your breastfeeding journey is going to be like.  For me I had fully immersed myself with some rose tinted spectacles. It was going to be a beautiful experience where me and my son  those wonderful intimate moments together.  I was going to provide for my baby, all his needs, and have him look into my eyes dreamily whilst he fed.


But that's not how it started out for me. Straight away I knew that something was not right. As the midwife lay my son at my breast and helped him attach he simply slipped off and went to sleep. Again and again we tried and he would suck once or twice and then slip off and fall asleep. 
 'Oh what a lazy boy you have! Don't worry he will get it!' Midwife, nurse and healthcare assistants told me again and again.  
After 4 or 5 hours I felt panic rising that my baby wasn't feeding and although everyone kept reassuring me he would feed, he just had to get the hang of it, eventually I was shown how to hand…
Post a Comment
Read more